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Gaga's Gold Chair & Westwood Slams Mobama

lady gaga gold wheelchair
Lady Gaga in her gold wheelchair, called... 'Emma'

- Most of us if we say, broke a foot or had a nasty fall, would make do with an NHS issue wheelchair: grey, squeaky, and with a faint aroma of incontinent grandmas. Yet most of us are not Lady Gaga.

The singer had surgery on her hip last month, after suffering from inflammation. She was forced to cancel the remaining dates of her Born This Way Ball Tour, broadcast through one too many emotional and overly dramatic tweets. “I hope you can forgive me, as it is nearly impossible for me to forgive myself,” she tweeted, we imagine through a golden veil of unicorn tears, or such like.

Since then, Gaga has been wheelchair bound, but as hinted not so subtly above, her wheelchair has been suitably Gaga-fied. Commissioning designer Ken Borochov to create something unique, she now wheels about quite comfortably in a 24 carat gold chair, complete with leather canopy. A fully reclining seat lets her enjoy a little snooze when those masks, head pieces, and the Gaga day-to-day gets too much.

Borochov had never designed a wheelchair before, but said he was “always up for a challenge”, and is well-trusted by Gaga having made her a crown and golden claw before. While Borochov calls the wheelchair the ‘Chariot’ – “a chair fit only for a queen” – Gaga calls it… Emma.

Michelle Obama style
Michelle Obama's all-American style is not for Vivienne Westwood

- Everyone is thinking it; Vivienne goes ahead and says it. To be honest we’re a bit ‘meh’ about Michelle Obama’s recent fringe - with that white all-American grin, is it not a little… mumsy and safe? - and the cardigans buttoned under the bust may have worked once, but now whimper ‘stuck in a rut.’ We keep these thoughts to ourselves, yet Dame Vivienne Westwood has said it loud: “It’s dreadful what she wears.” Oh dear.

Viv isn’t exactly a huge fan of the safe fashion bet, having had choice words to say about Kate Middleton’s dress-and-nude-courts formula in the past, and deems Mrs Obama too “conservative.”

“She’s a very nice looking lady, but it’s a nonstarter regarding clothes that suit her,” Viv told the New York Times, without hesitance. “[Fashion is] there to help, not to make you look more conservative.”
Clearly Michelle’s wardrobe of Jasan Wu, Thakoon and British designer Roksanda Ilincic, and her style approval from Anna Wintour isn’t enough for outspoken Westwood.

If Vivienne has her way, perhaps we’ll see Michelle stepping out in a protest t-shirt and corseted tartan skirt at her next public appearance. The White House with a punk twist: God Save the Obamas.

Sarah Jessica Parker's shoe statement
Sarah Jessica Parker's shoe statement

- Sarah Jessica Parker, my love, we do believe your head is stuck firmly in the cloud of celebrity. Can you see us down here? Us, here, the ones who watched every single episode of Sex and the City (while always thinking Carrie was the worst character) and followed your every Blahnik step with awe. Yes, us, the paupers who can’t afford to spend several hundred pounds, dollars or a single leftover holiday euro on designer shoes.

SJP recently slagged off cheap (read, affordable) shoes to Net-A-Porter magazine, sinking the hearts of thousands of average-income SATC fans everywhere. “So I got shoes from [Nine West],” Parker said, “and the bottom of the shoes aren’t leather, they are plastic, so I slipped a couple of times and twisted my ankle.”

Poor Parker was forced to wear the shoes while in character for the 2011 film I Don’t Know How She Does It, when she played time-strapped working mum Kate Reddy.

To avoid further budget heel issues, we recommend Parker does a course in ‘how to walk in cheap heels’, preferably in a pair of New Look six-inchers, preferably on a cobbled high street, preferably after two or five tequilas. The way we all learn.

Clothes-horse Parker may have hurt our feelings, and dented the ego of our empty purses, but the sad truth is, we’d swap our worn out wedges for a dainty pair of Manolos or vamp-soled Louboutins any day.

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